Out of Hand
by ApatheticallyMonotone
Summary: After Raven ran away from the Teen Titans she has second thoughts. BBRaven Rated for minor cursing. One shot. Song fic to "Still Life" by Men At Work.


DISCLAIMER: I don't own Teen Titans, or _Still Life_ by Men at Work. Plain and simple. Also, I apologize fortaking so long to format this and all that so it looks good in the browser. Sorry if its still screwed up in some places, I can only do so much. Also, thanks to everyone who reviewed!

Out of Hand  
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**There's a picture in the hall, I know  
****And it's from a time when feelings showed  
****Though I hold it close before my eyes  
****My heart refuses to see**

Raven sighed a heavy and long sigh. She had picked up the phone but she could not manage to dial the numbers. Her hand shook terribly as she did begin to.

_What am I supposed to say? _She wondered as her anxiety grew more and more. _Will they even listen to me?_

She knew she had to call, but she knew little more than that. Every time she looked at her wall she knew she had to talk to them. Her wall was spruced with several pictures of the Titans, but one larger picture stood in the center glaring at her each moment of the day.

It was of him. He stood at the edge of the roof of the tower grinning madly, with tears covering his face. His smile was so wide that she could see every tooth in his mouth. She remembered the day when she had taken the picture.

_flashback_

She had been standing on the edge of the tower letting the wind blow through her hair. The night before Robin and Starfire got engaged and Terra had kissed Beast Boy in an awkward scene. She was alone. Cyborg and her had been close, but simply as friends, and everyone knew that was left there. Neither was interested in anything more (as Raven knew from reading his mind).

Raven had gotten up early to meditate and instead flew up to the roof. She stood on the edge of the roof, shaking in misery. She lifted her left foot and dragged it through the air in front of her. 'NO!' she heard him scream as he ran across the roof toward her. He had not managed to reach Raven until right before she plummeted through the air, toward the ground. He knelt at the edge where Raven's feet had just left and tears trickled down his face. Assuming he had been the cause of her jumping, he was terribly distraught and drenched in tears.

Hearing a loud blow to the ground he looked over the edge of the tower. He didn't see Raven anywhere, nor what had made the terrifying sound.

"Raven…?" he whispered as he flew off the tower. "Raven, you can fly. Why would you jump a building?"

Beast boy's thoughts raced as he soared through the sky as a hawk. Perhaps she had not been jumping and simply taking flight. Had he pushed her by accident? His conscience seemed to be attacking his every thought.

Raven was in shock as Beast boy ran toward her on the roof. She collapsed and fell rapidly through the air. She had just barely begun to recover when she saw the ground nearing her face and she began to fly upward. Her head felt as if it were going to explode as she sped through the air.

There he was kneeling on the edge of the roof with tears everywhere. Suddenly his eyes burst open and a smile crept across his face. He stood up and smiled wider and wider, until his mouth could not possibly open anymore.

"Raven you're okay!"

_end flash back_

She had not remembered taking the picture, or even having a camera then but when she was looking through her photographs there it sat, grinning with the same emotion as he had had that day.

**Loving you could have been, oh so easy  
****But there is something you don't understand  
****Through the times when two were one completely  
****There was another in this well laid plan**

She had considered taking the picture down so many times, but she could not help but leave it up. His grin was the only thing that kept her moving sometimes, but the same grin stopped her from being happy.

She ran away from the Tower days after that in an effort to escape Beast boy. The night before, he and Terra became an 'official couple,' yet she could not help love his smile. Truly, she could not help love _him._ But if she did not like Terra all the same as the rest of the Titans, she still did not want to hurt her friends by allowing her feelings to grow. So she grabbed everything she could carry and ran to a town ten or twenty miles away.

She heard news of them and saw pictures in the papers. Terra had replaced her in their posed pictures. How long had it been since she left? Did the Titans forget that she had existed, or were they trying to bury their emotions by ignoring her loss? Desperately Raven hoped the latter, but she was always insecure.

"She fits with them…" Raven noted as she stared at the newspaper on her counter.

**This corridor seems to stretch for years ahead  
****But patient hearts cannot match times steady tread  
****Is this the threshold of a fantasy?  
****Is there still life at all?**

She had managed to dial the phone number. But the phone seemed to ring on and on and on. A low voice answered the phone.

"Hey, Teen Titans, what can I do for ya?" Raven had to think before answering the remark. She had not realized any of the Titans had that low of a voice.

"Who is this?" She managed to squeak out.

"Cyborg…" He was suspicious of the easily recognizable voice responding to his. "Raven, is that you?"

"What do you think…?" Raven was getting her regular attitude back but her voice still remained shy and feeble. It had been6 monthssince she left and she had feared this day every second of them.

"Dude, where are you? Are you okay?" He asked many more questions but Raven couldn't listen that quickly.

"I'm okay, Cy." Raven swallowed. "Is anyone else there? I mean I assume you guys still have the team; I read the papers."

"Yea, we're still a team. But none of 'em are home now; out shopping I think."

"Hey Cy, can I talk to you in person, I don't like phones."About half an hour later she sat at the pizza parlor waiting for Cyborg to come. But he didn't. Beast boy did.

_Oh shit,_ Raven thought. _Oh God! I am going to _kill_ Cyborg._

"Raven!" Beast boy spotted her and ran arms open toward her. She stood up and shivered in his embrace. This was why she had left, she didn't need to love him, but she couldn't stop when he was around.

"Hey." She stood there staring at her feet when the hug broke and Beast boy stood staring at her eyes. He held at his hand toward a seat and they both sat down.

_God, she's gorgeous,_ he thought. "Raven, I've missed you so much. We all have. Why…why'd you go?"

"Why? Because…" She couldn't figure out what to say next, and she was half distracted reading Beast boy's busy mind.

_Oh God she isn't answering. It' s because of me. _His mind raced from word to word as he stared further into her eyes. _She hates me! I knew I shouldn't have let Cyborg talk me into coming. But I had to see her. I love her._

**Loving you could have been, oh so easy  
****But there is something you don't understand  
****Through the times when two were one completely  
****There was another in this well laid plan  
****Best laid plan of ours**

Raven's heart stopped. This was not what she needed. She had been hoping to talk to Cyborg so that she could get over her love. She was hoping to hear about how he and Terra had a wonderful life together, and hoping that she would realize that she couldn't break that up because of a petty crush. She lay her forehead into her hand.

"Beast boy…" She talked in almost a whisper.

_Oh shit, she can read minds!_ Beast boy's eyes widened and his face dyed itself red. _You _knew_ that!_

"Beast boy, shut up!" She had realized he wasn't saying anything, but Beast boy was already aware that she was reading his mind, so she figured it didn't matter. "Beast boy you and Terra deserve to be happy."

"Me and Terra?" His laugh was real but sounded terribly fake because of how nervous he was. "Terra and I _never_ happened. She kissed me that night but I told her that it wasn't gonna happen."

**Watering the garden, some comfort for the twilight years  
****Still, life never lingers, it marches past our veil of tears  
****A moment's all we've got, to have and to hold  
****Don't slip, don't blink, don't turn your head**

Did he have to be this perfect? _This was not what she needed._ She needed him to be a terribly selfish jerk that she could forget. She knew he had cried at least one moment of tears for her on the roof, but she had cried so many more. She pulled her hand up to his face and cupped his cheek.

"Beast Boy…" She had let tears escape her eyes. She had intended to keep from doing that. That meant she had to work quickly, she could not stall any longer. "Beast boy… Forget me."

And with a short yet deep breath she pulled his lips toward hers. Time stood still, as Raven ignored her surroundings. Beast boy stood shocked for half a second but embraced the action immediately afterward.Raven pulled away and quickly stood up storming away.

She did not see the chairs and tables sprawled across the room in their incorrect places. She did not see that her black aura had ruined the restaurant. Tears ran down her face and she could not bear being near him any longer. Her breaths grew short and closer together as she started running down the street. She didn't want to fly; she wanted to blow her steam off by running.

**With a photographic memory  
****I could live in a time that used to be  
****Is this the threshold of a fantasy?  
****Is there still life at all?  
****Loving you could have been, oh so easy  
****But there is something you don't understand  
****Through the times when I was won completely  
****There was another in this well laid plan**

Raven ran all the way to her apartment. She was nearly there when she suddenly realized how out of breathe and energy she was. She collapsed feet away from her building, key in hand. It was peaceful lying there on the porch of the apartment complex as the city passed her by. Half concious she felt herself be lifted off of the ground and her key removed from the tight grip she had it in.

Her eyes blinked. There it was. The picture glared back at her as she woke up on her couch. When had she gotten into her apartment? She was about to enter the building, but she surely had not turned the key, let alone lay on her couch, blanket and all.

She heard a clatter from the kitchen and sat up abruptly.

"Raven don't!" Beast boy came in and pushed her lightly back down into the couch. "Sleep. You need to. God, Raven, you ran nearly 20 miles without slowing down."

He kissed her forehead lightly and a cup crashed onto the floor in the kitchen.

"If you're trying to scare me away it won't work," he joked pulling a warm blanket around her. "I'm staying with you until you're better, I called Cyborg to tell him."

"Damn it Beast boy, stop it!" She sat up despite his signal for her to lie back down. "Stop playing the hero! Stop trying to save me…"

She burst into tears. Sitting down on the edge of the couch he pulled her into his shoulder so her tears soaked through his shirt. Hushing her he rubbed her back and kissed her hair."Stop it…" she moaned. "Why do you have to be so perfect?"

"Perfect?" he chuckled as he pulled her away from his shoulder and stared into her wet eyes. He wiped her eyes with one hand and held her face gently with the other. "I'm not perfect, Raven. You should know that. I'm not a hero, either. Raven _you're_ the perfect one. I love you, Rae."

**Loving you could have been, oh so easy  
****But there is something you don't understand  
****There was a time when I was won completely  
****Our emotions they got out of hand**

Raven couldn't stop crying. She had left to escape his charm but somehow it had managed to follow her. She'd left to stop loving him but somehow he'd only managed to make her love him more.

"Beast boy…I love you, too…" More crashes in the kitchen. She looked in the direction of that now messy room. "But we can't, _I_ can't." She pointed to the kitchen.

"I don't care, Rae," his brushed his hand through her hair and pulled her closer to him. Cupping her face the same as she had to him he brought her in for a kiss. The whole kitchen could have exploded, and it probably did, but they didn't notice. What seemed like minutes later they pulled away. He grinned his usual smirk.

"We'll just have to buy a foam house."

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Waaa. I know. Terrible ending line. But I had to have a cheesy joke in there _somewhere_.


End file.
